And now…….Generative Coaching…and a New Course for 2018 !

With Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan

Using 3 minds instead of one ? That’s what I have been up to in Barcelona this Spring !

I have been privileged this Spring to undertake my Practitioner in Generative Coaching with Robert Dilts and Stephen Gilligan. So what’s different ?

“Generative” means to create a result that has never existed before in the world. It is the power of the entrepreneur, the artist, the philosopher, the inspirational leader. Generative Coaching is a set of tools for working with clients to enable them to discover and harness this power within themselves. It enables clients to transcend problems rather than just ‘sort’ them, and to move onto new, previously unimagined levels of creativity in both their personal and professional lives. Unlike conventional coaching, Generative Coaching treats barriers and threats as opportunities for deep personal change.

And the 3 minds ?

Try this: Think about how you know when you have made a good decision…….how do you know this…is it just in your head ?

When we are at our best/in the flow, we are not just thinking with our mind but also with our heart and our gut (our somatic mind). Similarly when we get stuck with a problem…..we usually experience the ‘stuckness’ in our head (cognitive mind). Generative Coaching focuses on getting the coachee into the optimum state to generate solutions from the cognitive, the somatic and something called the ‘field’ mind (the larger field of experience around us).

This approach now influences not just my coaching…it also informs my training of other coaches and will be a key element of the ‘Advanced Coaching’ course that I am launching in the Spring with my associate Richard Bisiker of Personal Summits. Unlike some ‘advanced coaching courses’ there will be a pre-requisite that participants have already had previous coach training……….so the focus will be on really building on existing skills rather than going back to basics ! Get in touch with me if you think this might be for you !

For more information on Richard: www.personalsummits.com/

With my fellow course graduates in Barcelona in May !

Let Go and Be More Dog

Mike Rawlins, NLP Master Practitioner, Executive Coach, songwriter and musician…amongst other things !

“That’s great,” says Florence. Then, with a smile, “You could write that up for Personal Effects”……………

We are drinking tea and chatting and I have just outlined my new project – my very new project; idea at 10 that morning, review and commitment in the car on the long drive up to Cumbria, first steps taken before my arrival and the project is real and happening and has always been there.

I say outlined – what I really mean is gabbled in a long, passionate outpouring of thoughts and parts of the picture as they flash into my mind accompanied by energetic gestures which are so not me – well, perhaps they are now.
The idea – that can wait for another day. The question is – how did I get here?

And it is a good question. For I look back over the last year and find it hard to detect the path from there to here.
The next day, I have the good fortune to accompany Florence and Pat on a walk with their two dogs. It is a dry but cloudy day – a hint of rain only – and a cool breeze that darts around us as we walk over hill and by river. Our walk is purposeful but not urgent and we cover the miles at a pace that allows the world to walk with us. The dogs, however, follow paths that defy logic – crossing and criss-crossing, here and there, pausing to investigate an interesting scent, then darting off in random directions just for the sheer hell of it.

I realise later that the last year has been a bit dog.

The energy and exuberance I now feel is the result of a series of seemingly random forays into dense undergrowth with the occasional pause when something I find smells interesting.

At the beginning of this ‘walk’, I was concerned by my inability to start things that matter – to take the ideas and endless plans in my head and make them real. I could procrastinate for England (unless we were playing Germany, then I would probably miss a penalty).

“What are you good at starting? What are you good at changing? What are you good at finishing? What patterns do you notice about yourself?”, asked Florence. The resulting lists sowed seeds – although I did not know this at the time.
I have become good at noticing and managing my state. Robert Dilts’ COACH model plays a big part in this. I find that I can choose to become Centred and Open; to be Attentive and Connected to myself and to the wider system and that I can Hold myself in a state of resourcefulness and curiosity. In a quiet corner of a cathedral in Gdansk last November, I met myself and saw myself to be good and connected to a wonderful greatness around me (this is a story for another time). The experience left me aware of a potential energy and connectedness that I had previously not felt.

I have also taken up Yoga and found, through the practice, a way of Letting Go. I started Yoga to find flexibility in mind and body. My guide to the physical practices has put me into many positions that take me to the edge of what I feel is possible. During one session, in a particularly difficult twist, I found myself about to give up when, out of consciousness, I sighed, smiled and the tension eased and I flowed further into the twist – just as she asked me to stop!
When this same pattern occurred again, I was ready for it. I realised that what was happening was an acceptance of how things were (the sigh), a sense of wellbeing at that acceptance (the smile) and a consequent loss of tension and gain in flexibility that allowed me to let go of inhibitions and find how much more I was capable of. And I realised that this Letting Go could be applied throughout my life.

For there to be Transformation – something must cease in order to create space for the new. Incremental change is ok, but unless space is created, those increments just build up and create stagnation and bloat (I love that word).
So now I am in control of my state and capable of letting go – ready for new beginnings. And new beginnings are there to be taken. And suddenly, without me noticing, I am a person who can take new steps without delay, without procrastination – and the project is underway and I am excited to find what happens with the next step.

I am centred, I am open, I have let go of the old – and the future is one of wonderful hidden paths and enticing smells. Time to be more dog.

Putting My NLP Business Practitioner to Work !

Caroline Pett NLP Business Practitioner, Phone Shop Manager and aspiring coach.

I’ve recently finished my NLP Business Practitioner course, and have been trying some of the NLP presuppositions on for size. A couple of them slipped straight on and immediately felt comfortable…….

“There is no failure, only feedback”, for example, was music to my ears – no more looking down on myself, feeling disappointed to not to have achieved what I want first time – I’ll just chalk it up to experience and press stop on the treadmill, BEFORE turning around…. and next time I’m sure I won’t end up in a heap on the floor. What a relief it is to have the belief that there is not failure, only feedback in my life!

Another one that I liked the look of was “Every action has an (unconscious) positive intention”. Brilliant! No need to feel guilty for “accidentally” eating a full box of Malteasers – my unconscious must want the best for me and I’m sure that it knows best, who am I to argue? Where this one became a little more difficult was when it came to applying it to the actions of others…………..

It wasn’t immediately obvious to me what the positive intention could possibly be when presented with wet towels left on the bed….a damp and disgusting bed to get into? When quizzed, the perpetrator informed me the intention was not to be late leaving the house – and in their map of the world, the 2 minutes it would have taken was vital. You can see I’m still struggling with believing that all actions have (unconscious) positive intentions, but I’m certainly giving it a go!
This one, for me, is like that pair of shoes that look great, but nip your toes when you wear them – I’m hoping they’ll loosen up and be comfortable with a bit of time.

The final one I have been exploring in detail is that “Everyone has a different map of the world.” What an adventure this one is to get into! Given the right space, I’ve found that others will very willingly show you around some of their map – some of the more public spaces at least, and it’s amazing what can be found there. Some of the things that I thought surely would be the same as my map, have been very different, even compared to people with whom I have a lot of shared experiences.

The more I ‘wear’ the presuppositions the more comfortable I find them, and I’m finding that they are having a hugely positive influence on how I see my world…………………and live in it !

You might be interested in…………

The suggestion for a TED talk this time is from the lovely and talented Claire Bradshaw:

www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability

For more information on Claire: www.clairembradshaw.co.uk